I may only be one person, but I am one person with a strong fire within me and am hoping that I can make a difference in some way; even if I can only bring about a positive effect for a few people, it will be worth it.
A smiling facade can mask much pain,
Fear and loneliness often reign,
Do not try to understand,
Just lend an ear or a hand,
This is not something you can mend,
But just be there; be a friend.
Such irony that the change that starts a fresh new chapter of my life is today; exactly 1 year on.
I have simply appropriately emotionally responded to life challenges!
So, I am not disappearing in any way and maybe one day, it will be appropriate to wake 'GP and Human' up from its sleep.
I have spent a lifetime trying to be the best person I can be. Yet it's never enough. And, despite best intentions, I keep messing up. I am no good as a mother, wife or doctor. I'm fed up of the futility of trying so hard for nothing. I just want it all to go away. Curl up and hide. Escape. Switch off.
Value your blessings and really live,
Keep everything in perspective.
The human battery needs a chance to recharge otherwise the energy can't continue to be used.
The work pattern is back as it was before. So far it is OK. Will it be ongoing? I don't know yet...there's a balance to be struck somehow.
So, I can feel hints of what I struggled with before and there is a fear of falling back to that to a degree although I am sure it would never get back to that extreme. But pretty much everything is, and will remain, better than before September.